As a teen girl, discussing sex with your dad is pretty high on the list of “things you never want to do”—which is just one of the reasons why this alarmist dating video is hard to watch.
The retro guide, titled 7 Simple Rules for Dating My Christian Daughter, is quickly going viral, thanks to a sinister-sounding dad teaching his kin how to “go all the way” without leaving her “feeling guilty and scarred.”
The dad begins by saying “sex may be fun, but now sex can kill”—which is why young people need to follow the rules. Papa fear-monger’s daughter, Danielle (who looks like she lives in D.J. Tanner’s bedroom, circa 1990), heeds this advice and exclaims, “Okay, Dad, give us the right rules to guide our dating!”
Daddy dearest then goes though seven rules that include abstinence, not wearing “dresses up to our earlobes,” only dating Christians, not “turning your date on” by “using your anatomy,” and of course, being submissive to your parents. Otherwise, you’ll get what’s coming to you.