There’s some beauty you really can’t address directly – it’s like staring into the sun, so scorching hot it will literally blind you. That’s why we’re only just now tentatively broaching this man crush: Sergio Ramos.
We’re shielding our eyes and wiping away tears. Look, there’s his game play, which even totally hetero dudes have to admit makes them “purr with pure pleasure.”
We know what you’re thinking, the man loves his red cards – yeah? And? That just means he’s overflowing with a passion that can’t be contained!
Also who cares when he looks like this in Hugo Boss?
Or, you know, not in Hugo Boss?
Do we even talk about his excellent choices in barbering and his absolutely perfect beard-length-to-bone-structure ratio?
Sergio’s utter virility is such that he’s spawned with his partner not once, but soon to be twice.
Look, Sergio, I know I recorded a lot of these Man Crush Mondays, but I saved this one for now on purpose. You have a lot of options after your career in Spanish football, and I strongly, strongly urge you to consider coming to play in the United States, where you can properly be worshipped like the god you are.
I know I’m personally lining up and offering my prayers now.