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Man Crush Monday: Growing and showing with Claudio Marchisio

The Champions League semifinals provided a lot of heartbreak for those of us who like Real Madrid’s, uh, talents. So let’s cheer up by talking about a winner on this week’s Man Crush Monday: Juventus midfielder Claudio Marchisio!

FLORENCE, ITALY - MARCH 25:  Claudio Marchisio during Italy Training Session at Coverciano on March 25, 2015 in Florence, Italy.  (Photo by Claudio Villa/Getty Images)Claudio Villa

FLORENCE, ITALY - MARCH 25: Claudio Marchisio during Italy Training Session at Coverciano on March 25, 2015 in Florence, Italy. (Photo by Claudio Villa/Getty Images)

Okay, here’s the thing about Claudio, who’s also known to fans as “the little prince” — from far away in squad photos, he’s no Andrea Pirlo or Francisco Llorente. He looks almost kind of scrawny, actually.

FLORENCE, ITALY - MARCH 25:  Claudio Marchisio (C) during Italy Training Session at Coverciano on March 25, 2015 in Florence, Italy.  (Photo by Claudio Villa/Getty Images)Claudio Villa

FLORENCE, ITALY - MARCH 25: Claudio Marchisio (C) during Italy Training Session at Coverciano on March 25, 2015 in Florence, Italy. (Photo by Claudio Villa/Getty Images)

But then you zoom in and it’s like hello all of this magnificent man-ness close-up. (Does this mean he’s a grower and not a show-er?)

CESENA, ITALY - JULY 30:  Claudio Marchisio of Juventus  in action during the pre-season friendly match between AC Cesena and Juventus FC at Dino Manuzzi Stadium on July 30, 2014 in Cesena, Italy.  (Photo by Giuseppe Bellini/Getty Images)Giuseppe Bellini

CESENA, ITALY - JULY 30: Claudio Marchisio of Juventus in action during the pre-season friendly match between AC Cesena and Juventus FC at Dino Manuzzi Stadium on July 30, 2014 in Cesena, Italy. (Photo by Giuseppe Bellini/Getty Images)

Okay, where do we even start with this face? Should it even have, like, other sweaty men and athletic equipment potentially slamming into it? Like, what are these eyes, if not crystalline traps meant to steal your soul and rob you of all rational thought?

MILAN, ITALY - JUNE 26:  Claudio Marchisio of Italy arrives at Malpensa Airport on June 26, 2014 in Milan, Italy.  (Photo by Claudio Villa/Getty Images)Claudio Villa

MILAN, ITALY - JUNE 26: Claudio Marchisio of Italy arrives at Malpensa Airport on June 26, 2014 in Milan, Italy. (Photo by Claudio Villa/Getty Images)

What is this personal, skinny-suit style if not something just meant to torment you about the fact that you’re probably surrounded by a bunch of sloppily dressed dadbods?

RIO DE JANEIRO, BRAZIL - JUNE 05:  Claudio Marchisio of Italy arrives in Brazil ahead of FIFA 2014 World Cup at on June 5, 2014 in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil.  (Photo by Claudio Villa/Getty Images)Claudio Villa

RIO DE JANEIRO, BRAZIL - JUNE 05: Claudio Marchisio of Italy arrives in Brazil ahead of FIFA 2014 World Cup at on June 5, 2014 in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. (Photo by Claudio Villa/Getty Images)

DO WE EVEN TALK ABOUT THE UNDERWEAR SHOOTS?

marchisioad

Obviously, my invitation to that shower party got lost in the mail.

Here’s the other thing: Juventus is the only team our Claudio has ever played for, starting with his youth development days. So he looks like that and he’s basically monogamous?

Ugh, so yes, that means he’s married. Here she is… she’s cute, they have beautiful babies, he’s even got her name tattooed on the inside of his arm and kisses it when he make a goal.

marchisioinstagram

 

WhatEVER. Congratulations, wife Roberta, you snagged one of the finest specimens alive. At least just let the rest of us stare, okay?

Man Crush Monday: Growing and showing with Claudio Marchisio

The Champions League semifinals provided a lot of heartbreak for those of us who like Real Madrid’s, uh, talents. So let’s cheer up by talking about a winner on this week’s Man Crush Monday: Juventus midfielder Claudio Marchisio!

FLORENCE, ITALY - MARCH 25:  Claudio Marchisio during Italy Training Session at Coverciano on March 25, 2015 in Florence, Italy.  (Photo by Claudio Villa/Getty Images)Claudio Villa

FLORENCE, ITALY - MARCH 25: Claudio Marchisio during Italy Training Session at Coverciano on March 25, 2015 in Florence, Italy. (Photo by Claudio Villa/Getty Images)

Okay, here’s the thing about Claudio, who’s also known to fans as “the little prince” — from far away in squad photos, he’s no Andrea Pirlo or Francisco Llorente. He looks almost kind of scrawny, actually.

FLORENCE, ITALY - MARCH 25:  Claudio Marchisio (C) during Italy Training Session at Coverciano on March 25, 2015 in Florence, Italy.  (Photo by Claudio Villa/Getty Images)Claudio Villa

FLORENCE, ITALY - MARCH 25: Claudio Marchisio (C) during Italy Training Session at Coverciano on March 25, 2015 in Florence, Italy. (Photo by Claudio Villa/Getty Images)

But then you zoom in and it’s like hello all of this magnificent man-ness close-up. (Does this mean he’s a grower and not a show-er?)

CESENA, ITALY - JULY 30:  Claudio Marchisio of Juventus  in action during the pre-season friendly match between AC Cesena and Juventus FC at Dino Manuzzi Stadium on July 30, 2014 in Cesena, Italy.  (Photo by Giuseppe Bellini/Getty Images)Giuseppe Bellini

CESENA, ITALY - JULY 30: Claudio Marchisio of Juventus in action during the pre-season friendly match between AC Cesena and Juventus FC at Dino Manuzzi Stadium on July 30, 2014 in Cesena, Italy. (Photo by Giuseppe Bellini/Getty Images)

Okay, where do we even start with this face? Should it even have, like, other sweaty men and athletic equipment potentially slamming into it? Like, what are these eyes, if not crystalline traps meant to steal your soul and rob you of all rational thought?

MILAN, ITALY - JUNE 26:  Claudio Marchisio of Italy arrives at Malpensa Airport on June 26, 2014 in Milan, Italy.  (Photo by Claudio Villa/Getty Images)Claudio Villa

MILAN, ITALY - JUNE 26: Claudio Marchisio of Italy arrives at Malpensa Airport on June 26, 2014 in Milan, Italy. (Photo by Claudio Villa/Getty Images)

What is this personal, skinny-suit style if not something just meant to torment you about the fact that you’re probably surrounded by a bunch of sloppily dressed dadbods?

RIO DE JANEIRO, BRAZIL - JUNE 05:  Claudio Marchisio of Italy arrives in Brazil ahead of FIFA 2014 World Cup at on June 5, 2014 in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil.  (Photo by Claudio Villa/Getty Images)Claudio Villa

RIO DE JANEIRO, BRAZIL - JUNE 05: Claudio Marchisio of Italy arrives in Brazil ahead of FIFA 2014 World Cup at on June 5, 2014 in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. (Photo by Claudio Villa/Getty Images)

DO WE EVEN TALK ABOUT THE UNDERWEAR SHOOTS?

marchisioad

Obviously, my invitation to that shower party got lost in the mail.

Here’s the other thing: Juventus is the only team our Claudio has ever played for, starting with his youth development days. So he looks like that and he’s basically monogamous?

Ugh, so yes, that means he’s married. Here she is… she’s cute, they have beautiful babies, he’s even got her name tattooed on the inside of his arm and kisses it when he make a goal.

marchisioinstagram

 

WhatEVER. Congratulations, wife Roberta, you snagged one of the finest specimens alive. At least just let the rest of us stare, okay?

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