The Champions League semifinals provided a lot of heartbreak for those of us who like Real Madrid’s, uh, talents. So let’s cheer up by talking about a winner on this week’s Man Crush Monday: Juventus midfielder Claudio Marchisio!
Okay, here’s the thing about Claudio, who’s also known to fans as “the little prince” — from far away in squad photos, he’s no Andrea Pirlo or Francisco Llorente. He looks almost kind of scrawny, actually.
But then you zoom in and it’s like hello all of this magnificent man-ness close-up. (Does this mean he’s a grower and not a show-er?)
Okay, where do we even start with this face? Should it even have, like, other sweaty men and athletic equipment potentially slamming into it? Like, what are these eyes, if not crystalline traps meant to steal your soul and rob you of all rational thought?
What is this personal, skinny-suit style if not something just meant to torment you about the fact that you’re probably surrounded by a bunch of sloppily dressed dadbods?
DO WE EVEN TALK ABOUT THE UNDERWEAR SHOOTS?
Obviously, my invitation to that shower party got lost in the mail.
Here’s the other thing: Juventus is the only team our Claudio has ever played for, starting with his youth development days. So he looks like that and he’s basically monogamous?
Ugh, so yes, that means he’s married. Here she is… she’s cute, they have beautiful babies, he’s even got her name tattooed on the inside of his arm and kisses it when he make a goal.
WhatEVER. Congratulations, wife Roberta, you snagged one of the finest specimens alive. At least just let the rest of us stare, okay?