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Wasteland: A First Look

Man Crush Monday: The hipster hotness of Jürgen Klopp

Behind every truly great handsome player – like, oh, recent Man Crush Monday honoree Mats Hummels — is the guiding, handsome hand of a truly great coach. So we’re peeling back the curtain to focus on one of the hottest – soon-to-be-ex Dortmund coach Jurgen Klopp!

Borussia Dortmund Training Session & Press Conference

Everyone says Klopp is such a hipster, but if that means he’s like, hot and wears glasses, is that really a bad thing?

Sevilla v Borussia Dortmund - UEFA Europa League

You see that scarf and glasses combo? This is definitely a guy who’s seen the inside of a minimal techno club. Mmmm, the scent of bohemian exclusivity.

UEFA Champions League Final - Bayern Muenchen Airport Arrival

And sure, there is, indeed, nothing more hipster than an attractive, relatively young man stepping away from a perfectly good job to like, “find himself.” Look, Jurgen, I will totally like, snob out about minimalist typography and Fernet Branca with you.

Skiclub Kampen Season Opening

And, you know, I’m raking in the riches here at Fusion, so I am ready to be your sponsor. You can totally sleep on my couch while you figure out if you’re gonna join Teach For America or go back for that third humanities grad degree.

Just please make me feel a little bit special before you decide you aren’t “ready for all of this” and leave me for Manchester City.

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