If you’ve caught a Colorado Rapids match lately, you probably spent most of it staring at Pablo Mastroeni’s mustache.
He looks like Steamboat Willie on the sideline. Or like he should be selling fair-trade organic shaving cream while riding one of those old bikes with the huge front wheel.
The former U.S. international actually grew the ‘stache after a conversation with his father, who told him that a dramatic change in looks would help him make the transition from player to coach.
It isn’t working so well. Colorado is last in the West with three points from four games. It’s in the middle of an 18-game winless streak and hasn’t scored since “yolo” was still a cool thing to say in public.