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Writer Ashley Ford speaks on why she identifies as queer even if she has a long-term boyfriend

For writer Ashley Ford, “coming out,” is something she does often—or, at least, every time she starts dating someone different.

When she first started writing at BuzzFeed for its LGBT vertical, people had a hard time understanding why she identified as queer. She had a long-term boyfriend, so why wasn’t she using her “hetero-passing privilege?”

In an article she recently wrote published in The Guardian, Ford explained, “I’ve grown accustomed to confusion about my sexual identity—not my own confusion, of course.”

“Despite being debilitatingly indecisive in almost every other aspect of my life,” she continued, “what I desire sexually has been very clear to me for some time now.”

Ford spoke to Fusion’s Alicia Menendez about her story, her experience identifying as queer, and how she deals with unwarranted comments from friends, family, and strangers. At the end, none of that matters, Ford said, because it all comes down to love.

“Love liberates,” she said. “That’s what it’s supposed to do.”

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