Luis Suárez is going to wear a custom-made boot decorated with sharp teeth this weekend when Barcelona play Rayo Vallecano.
The striker’s left boot will be decorated with the kind of messy, quasi-symbolic, bold designs one might expect to see in the pop-art section of a gallery, or on the arms of Martin Skrtel.
The right boot has a skull motif with the teeth where Suárez’s toes go. So every time he kicks the ball, he’ll be biting it, effectively. Now, this might cause you to ponder — does a player with a well-earned reputation for chowing down on human beings really want to be running around the field with a set of highly-visible razor-sharp fangs on his feet? But if you think that, you’re just a hater, so shut up.
It’s all part of the adidas “There Will Be Haters” campaign, for which Suárez is a natural choice as ambassador. One of the boots represents love, and the other one, hate – hence the skull. Although are dead people really any good at soccer? For a start, they’re going to lack mobility. And surely skulls are too sharp and bony to be able to direct headers accurately.
Anyway, this all makes sense as a marketing idea – players are tattooed pretty much everywhere apart from their feet, these days. And it makes a change from a manufacturer selling cleats by touting some pseudo-scientific claims about how they’re so much lighter/stronger/more powerful than last year’s model. But we’re still uncertain as to whether it makes sense to put teeth on Suárez’s toes.