Man Crush Monday: We’d give Kevin-Prince Boateng the royal treatment

It’s time for a good, lingering look at this week’s Man Crush Monday, Schalke midfielder Kevin-Prince Boateng.

RSC Anderlecht v AC Milan - UEFA Champions League

Look, I know there are in fact two Boateng brothers – and yes, the other one, Jerome, has pretty sweet hipster glasses a tiny bit of a Jamal-On-Empire vibe. But he doesn’t have Kevin-Prince’s lips – and look, clearly those lips – and that tongue – are a major attraction for ol’ K-P over here.

AC Milan v S.S. Lazio - Serie A

And FIFA has described him as “blessed with strength, speed, and killer instinct,” that’s gotta apply to all of him, right?

You know he’s got skills off the field, anyways, when you see this epic Michael Jackson performance tribute from an AC Milan party:

If the ability to moonwalk in front of a bunch of fellow bros in tiny shorts doesn’t say “confidence and skill,” then really, what does?

Oh, and, by the way, we’ve got confirmation of all of this: his supermodel girlfriend, Melissa Satta, actually told the press he suffered so many injuries in 2012 because of their raucous love-making.

InTouch Awards 2014

So Kevin-Prince, if you ever find yourself single, what’s the opposite of nursing you back to health? Because we can totally do that.