Real-Barca trolling hit new lows (or maybe highs) on Monday when a Barcelona director said that Real Madrid sold Ángel di María to Manchester United because he is too ugly for the Bernabeu.
Thought di María left because Real needed to raise money after a summer transfer splurge and were offered $100m for a player who’s looked mostly useless since arriving at Old Trafford? You’re not thinking cynically or judgmentally enough, according to Carles Rexach.
I mean, consider who Real signed last year. Toni Kroos (cutie) and James Rodríguez (sooooo hot). All part of club president Florentino Pérez’s masterplan to make Real winners on the field and also to decorate the walls of teenaged girls’ bedrooms with as many posters as possible.
That’s why Real axed Spain manager and walrus impersonator Vicente Del Bosque more than a decade ago, says Rexach – who’s on a roll with the media after being quoted in a Catalan paper saying Lionel Messi ate too much pizza last season.
“Del Bosque and di María are too ugly for Real Madrid. They are different from Toni Kroos and James Rodríguez. Florentino Pérez looks at the world market and wants a team of Galacticos for everyone to admire. Ronaldo is the flagship of the club. Pérez is selling an international brand,” Rexach is quoted as saying.
No wonder Ronaldo was so disappointed that di María was sold. His own personal brand benefited from their status as teammates, because the Portuguese looked even more handsome whenever he was pictured next to the Argentina star.
Now the reason for the growing Gareth Bale backlash becomes clear. It’s not because Madridistas think Isco would be a better tactical and technical fit; it’s because Isco would get SO many more right swipes on Tinder.
Meanwhile, alongside Wayne Rooney, no one’s even thought that di María might not be pretty enough for Manchester United.