José Mourinho had to answer questions about his sex life after Chelsea’s League Cup win

The Capital One Cup is not the FA Cup. Where the FA Cup offers us magic, Capital One’s reminds us that we’re all paying ridiculous interest rates on our credit cards.

Unfortunately, it seems that magic deficiency has extended to the marital quarters of cup-winning coach José Mourinho.

You have to feel some sympathy for Mourinho. He celebrated winning the League Cup by going spead eagle in the middle of Wembley. This is a man who was obviously hoping for a special celebration with his missus. He “Earned It”. Somewhere between lifting the trophy and conducting his post-game interviews, the Special One must have gotten a reply to his “don’t go to bed without me” text that let him know he wasn’t going to be feeling too special tonight.

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It was probably that shamefully tiny Capital One Cup, or the cheesy, corporate-branded winners medals that ruined it for Mourinho. Neither one is a really good look. Better yet, it was probably the fact that he was standing next to John Terry. He’s got to be a turn-off for any woman.

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