When Tim Sherwood got the gig at Aston Villa, I had a few questions — primarily, because I had forgotten who he was, and then once I figured that out, I remembered that I had no opinion on him whatsover. That changed as of today. As far as I’m concerned, Louis van Gaal needs to leave England because there’s a new resident genius in the Premier League. Tim Sherwood is a managerial mastermind, the likes of which we haven’t seen since Sir Alex Ferguson threw a shoe at David Beckham.
Sherwood wisely understands that his fortunes with Villa lie largely at the presently cold feet of Christian Benteke. The Belgian striker hasn’t played to potential this season, and the Villans’ record — they currenly float four points above the bottom of the table — is suffering for it.
Rather than bury Benteke in “110%” coach-speak, Sherwood upted for potentially violent positive reinforcement:
“I have not patronised him but I have told him some home truths. I’ve told him he was one of the best strikers in the country, every club wanted him, Villa didn’t want to sell him. He’s no flash in the pan, he scores one in two.”
“I’ve told him to win the match ball, take it home and throw it in people’s face on Saturday.”
Yeah, Sherwood! Did he mean for Benteke to literally hit fans in the face with a soccer ball? I hope so. Rage is beautiful when properly channeled, and Aston Villa is fortunate to have a manager who understands this. If Benteke has a great game on Saturday, he should absolutely pick out the fans at Villa Park who have been the most vocal with their displeasure, and hit them directly in the face.
Too often, coaches are hyper-critical of their
meal tickets struggling star players, but Sherwood gets it. Don’t knock Benteke down, fire him up! Put that new Kanye West “All Day” on a repeating playlist, feed him some sugar cereals before the game and let that man go to work!
Christian Benteke is going to score a hat trick against Newcastle this weekend, and in the post-game interview, grab the ball he scored the third goal with, peg a man in the face, from distance, right as he tries to throw out his empty nacho tray. He will be a better man and player for it, and we will join him on his re-ascension, assuming NBC or Sky catches it on camera.