Sex, sex and more sex: What’s going on on England’s soccer fields?

Scoring a goal is better than sex, so the cliche goes.

But that’s inaccurate, because it’s been scientifically proven that they’re both about the same level, pleasure-wise.

What about literally combining sex and soccer by making the beast with two backs on your favorite team’s field? In the center circle?

Clearly, this is not something that could easily be accomplished during a match; not even by Ronaldinho.

But Vine footage has emerged purporting to show a couple engaging in adult fun on the hallowed turf of The Valley, stadium of the English second division’s Charlton Athletic. We say “purporting” because it’s quite possibly fake. Still, the club are apparently investigating. And it’s been widely reported, presumably because everyone secretly wants it to be true. After all, if you can scatter a departed loved one’s ashes on the pitch, why not take advantage of the grass to perform the act of conception? Circle of life, and all that.

In today’s other English soccer sex scandal news, reports in Argentina claim that Southampton striker Dani Osvaldo may see his loan spell at Boca Juniors terminated for allegedly sneaking lay-deez into the team hotel. The Boca manager is said to have caught one of the players in “mid-act”. No word yet if there’s a Vine of the incident – real or fake.

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