The Bundesliga had a nine-goal top-of-the-table shootout, not that anybody could watch it

By the time you read this, all the Vines I’ve embedded into this post are going to wiped off of the face of the internet. (Editor’s note: they have been.) That’s par for the Bundesliga course. As entertaining as the league can be, it’s presently a pain in the ass to follow.

In this modern era of endless television options and legal online streams, some important games still manage to slip through the broadcast cracks. Wolfsburg’s 5-4 road victory at Leverkusen today did just that. This was a match between two clubs vying for for Champions League spots in one of the two or three strongest leagues in the world, but it wasn’t available (by any legal broadcasting means) anywhere in the United States.

This game had everything. Nine total goals (more than a single-serving of Bayern) including a hat trick by Leverkusen’s Son Heung-Min and a four-spot by someone actually named Bas Dost. There was even a bit of light face-punching. Everything you could ask for from first division soccer. Sadly, no one you know had the chance to see it.

Because of its lack of coverage — what few games that do appear on television are on GolTV, a standard definition network that no one has — Bundesliga remains a giant if still hidden jewel in the American fan’s weekend routine. English soccer’s passion, Spain’s technical ability and all kinds of other positive soccer clichés also apply to the Bundesliga. Thankfully, this shadow league’s status will change next year, as FOX Sports will take over broadcast rights.

I’d love to go into more nuanced, poetic detail about this game and the league in general, but I saw absolutely none of it. Those goal Vines up there? That’s about it. Not even a full-game YouTube highlight package of this top of the table, nine-goal monster, because the Bundesliga is very selfish with that sort of thing.

The closest I got to properly covering this game was riding around the office with this silent but critical member of the Soccer Gods team: our beloved Wolfsburg scooter. I may not have actually “seen” the game, but I feel like I got all the essential vibes from it via the scooter. My methods are as reliable as anyone else’s.

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