It’s official: FIFA has an honest to goodness presidential race, we think

It’s official. Our overlords have spoken.

After performing an “integrity check,” FIFA’s Ad-hoc Electoral Committee has formally announced the candidates eligible to stand for FIFA’s presidential elections. Jordan’s Prince Ali Bin Al Hussein, Portuguese legend Luís Figo, and Michael van Praag, president of the Dutch football federation, will spend from now until May 29’s FIFA Congress in Zurich pretending they have a shot at unseating current FIFA “President for Life” Sepp Blatter, who apparently also passed the integrity check.

But what exactly is an integrity check?

According to the FIFA Organization Regulations, an integrity check requires candidates to submit information about convictions, violations of FIFA’s Code of Ethics, sanctions from sporting bodies, conflicts of interest, and to sign and date a piece of paper. Basically, FIFA wants to make sure prospective candidates are decent, non-conflicted individuals dedicated to FIFA’s mission of saving the world through soccer, albeit from behind closed doors.

So now the real fun begins. Each of these candidates have at least the requisite five letters of support from national federations and have been given clean bills of integrity. That means no more Donald Trump-esque stunt candidacies to clog up our internets. All that’s left to do is lobby for votes by … well, you know … um … having meetings, and probably making promises or something. Nevertheless, it’s time to place your bets for the change you’ve been waiting for.

 

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