“Expect the unexpected” is a wonderful philosophy and genrally solid approach to life, but it would be hard to blame Newcastle’s Ayoze Pérez if he still didn’t expect to be hit in the ear with a hamburger.
Today at KC Stadium, some Hull City degenerate went above and beyond their duty to defend their home ground (beef) and (beef) chucked a whole burger at visiting players as they celebrated a goal. To show just how serious he or she was, it doesn’t appear that the burger had even been bitten yet.
Poor Ayoze. He just wants to congratulate a teammate on his recent success, and he pays for it by catching a combo meal to the side of the neck. It was probably still warm. Maybe he deserved it, and the neck-burger was some sort of strange karmic retribution, but that doesn’t make this any less