Thanks to Sky Sports, the Premier League transfer window just got even more insufferable

As if this transfer window hasn’t been quiet enough, deadline day in England is about to get more boring.

Sky Sports gives Deadline Day the sort of wall-to-wall, dramatic, serious coverage that one might expect a media organization to devote to an imminent global nuclear Armageddon, rather than the news that QPR are racing to sign a Bulgarian left back for 1.5 million pounds.

Lately, as the windows have slammed with much less pizzazz than in previous years, the chief source of entertainment has been the idiotic behavior of fans who’ve shown up to training grounds across the country in order to provide graphic illustrations of the hazards of being a reporter on live TV.

It’s gotten so bad that Sky Sports bosses have decided to send a message. And that message is: no more dildos, thank you very much.

British media are reporting that the network’s correspondents will no longer stand outside training grounds on deadline day, following incidents last summer that saw the broadcast of fans swearing and one reporter being poked in the ear with a purple rubber phallus as he tried to impart important information about the future of one-time Manchester United starlet Tom Cleverly.

In another incident, a discussion of Aston Villa’s surprisingly bright start to their Premier League campaign was cruelly interrupted by the journalist being whacked with a blow-up sex doll.

Instead, Sky’s focus will become more studio-based – because what sports on TV really needs is more opportunities for over-paid and under-eloquent ex-players to sit at a desk filling airtime with idle speculation.