Paul Pogba is the most Vine-able player in the world

Most fans, TV shows and websites have their “Best X” categories. Best passer, best finisher, blah blah blah. No one cares, especially you. We prefer to focus on more important things – stuff with real-world implications.

With that spirit in mind, it’s time we (I) acknowledge the greatest highlight clip player in the world, Paul Labile Pogba. All hail the boy king of the internet! (Note: This opinion is subject to change without notice and be undermined by any number of things written in the future).

At least once a month, Pobga puts on a performance designed for those of us who take in life 140 characters or seven seconds of video at a time. He’ll score a goal that defies those laws of physics you vaguely remember from high school, maybe dropping a pass that makes you forget Pirlo was on the same field. It will be captured in a grainy Vine, one that proudly displays the latest in foreign television technology and living room wall designs. Every loop is another hint that some insane $110 million evaluation may only be real world (not soccer) crazy.

Juventus’ 2-0 win today over Chievo Verona today moved him a little bit closer to that insanity.

Fantastic goals that put opponents’ professional status into question or a simple stroll through the midfield – whatever Paul Pogba does, he does it for the Vine. There are probably people somewhere watching entire Juve games through their phone camera — aimed at the televisions they spent too much money on — making sure that they, and the rest of us, don’t miss the next great moment.

Every one of these clips is driving up the price of Pogba’s seemingly inevitable move to the Premier League. Social media interns at all of the Manchesters and Chelsea are reporting back to technical directors and managers with value updates (that’s how modern scouting is done). The going rate is probably something like 10 cents per view. Pogba’s about to get paid.