Philippe Mexes was possessed by the Spirit of Keeping it Real and choked Stefano Mauri

Philippe Mexes let the gamma rays get the best of him today. In the final minute of AC Milan’s 3-1 loss to Lazio, he was sent off – for the 16th time in his career – for retaliation after a foul by Stefano Mauri. Clearly, Mexes is a man who respects the value of his time, so if he was going to be suspended anyway, he figured he may as well make it worth his while – by trying to head butt, then proceeding to put Mauri in a headlock.

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This is a compelling video. You can actually see the moment that the Spirit of Keeping it Real jumped into Mexes’ body and assumed all control. As soon as the ref pointed to the sideline, the demon uttered “Oh, word? That’s how we’re doing this today? Alright, then.”

Mexes’ calm turn two or three steps before completely losing it is a work of belligerent art. He managed to encapsulate all of human history and poor decision-making in 10 seconds of live television. I could watch this all day. This clip should be shown to anthropology students.

Once the spirit left his body and Mexes regained consciousness, he issued an apology, speaking with Sky Italia:

“I am here to take responsibility, which is only right when you make a mistake.”

“First of all I apologize to the club, to my teammates and the fans because this is behavior that has happened more than once in my career. I cannot accept the reaction I had. I didn’t do much on the field, but after the red I reacted in completely the wrong way.

“I have four kids, so I know this is not the right example to set as a father or as a player. I am aware of that sense of responsibility and I apologise.”

“I have no excuses, as it’s a football match and you cannot behave like that. I take responsibility and promise it won’t happen again. It was my fault, that’s all.”

Personally, I never look for an apology from a player for this sort of violence without knowing all the details. We don’t know what Mauri said or did. Is it so unreasonable to think he may have deserved to be choked out at his workplace? Don’t jump to lazy conclusions. “Glass houses,” and whatnot. #FreeMexes

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