Cristiano Ronaldo tried to take his breakup sads out on another guy’s face

It may be time to worry about Cristiano Ronaldo. The man is clearly in a very fragile emotional state. He approached Real Madrid’s game today against Córdoba like his own version of the Footloose angry dance scene.

Luckily for him, Madrid still won, 2-1.

In his first game since the news of his breakup with Irina Shayk was actually confirmed, Ronaldo was sent off in the 82nd minute for kicking defender Edimar. In the interest of staying on focus, we’ll gloss over the fact that Edimar was kicked near his feet, but grabbed his face and he went down.

It’s never good to speculate about a stranger’s emotional breakdown, but it’s clear to trained eyes that Ronaldo has entered the second stage of loss and grief: anger. The saddest part is that he doesn’t seem to have the proper tools to express it. This attempt to deliver a punch to Enzo Roco was heartbreaking.

So wild. So off balance. Cristiano just wants to lash out against the world, but he’s in too much pain to focus his rage and pinpoint his feeling to the sweet spot of Roco’s jaw. We’ve all been there.

Thankfully, Cristiano showed us that there’s still a spark of his old self buried deep under the blankets, empty pizza-for-one boxes and shared Netflix password doubts that have clouded his shimmering spirit. As he walked off, heckled by Córdoba’s home support, he seemed to have a “Wait a minute…I’m Cristiano Ronaldo. Why the hell am I stressing this shit?” moment of clarity. In time, he will recover.

So, if you know Cristiano Ronaldo, shoot him a text. Make sure he’s OK. Maybe stop by his house and bring him some soup. Sad people love soup. Ask him if he wants to go hate-watch that new Johnny Depp movie, to give him something else to focus his rage on. He needs your friendship today.

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