U.S. soccer may be over Mix Diskerud

As you know, we at Soccer Gods are big believers in using social media as a means of hardcore investigation and scientific research. Instagram will always be the top resource, but a close second is random tweets from people we don’t know, taken out of context to suit a particular agenda.

To that end, I have come to an undeniable conclusion: The people of America are sick of Mix Diskerud and he hasn’t even gotten here yet.


The subject of yet another MLS rumor — reports now say that he is finalizing a deal with the much-maligned New York City FC — Diskerud has worn out his welcome in our metaphorical homes before he’s taken his coat off.

Once a budding heart-throb for people in American soccer circles because he looked like an Herbal Essences conditioner spokesman or whatever, Diskerud had a silent World Cup and has since become the most annoying figure on the domestic radar. Even the Seattle Sounders’ jack-of-all-positions, Brad Evans, is #SickOfMix.

Maybe they’re good friends and this is a joke, but that would ruin my blog, so…shots fired!


Personally, I think the issue is Diskerud’s tweeting style. I’m not advocating violence, but I am saying few things offer a young man a clearer perspective on his place in the universe than a smooth left-right combo to the jaw. Mix seems like the guy who talks shit to people on the sidewalk while drinking a fruit smoothie in a white BMW. Like his soul is named “Chad.” He calls strangers “brah.”

It’s almost like I can hear the entitled grin in his typing. I can imagine a young Mix running his mouth to kids at school because his dad was “thug life” and he knew no one would ever touch him. Gross.


That last one from our chief mascot correspondent is wildly disrespectful to the young lord Jaden Smith, but I get the point. Mix’s thoughts are the waist-tied sweater of social media. We, as fans, have allowed Norwegian Drake to prosper in our consciousness and headlines for too long.

Back when he was an abstract concept because we only saw him play a few times a year, he seemed alright, just overhyped. Now that he seems to be on a collision course with our daily MLS lives, maybe we don’t want him? Is he even any good? Who knows? Maybe it’s a sign of progress to dislike an American player this much.