An American is trying to buy Rangers, but unfortunately it’s Suns owner Robert Sarver

Remember Rangers? Back in MySpace times they were one of the two Scottish Premier League teams that mattered. Then there was some unpleasantness about insolvency, dissolution, and reforming as a “new” club in the Third Division (Scotland’s fourth tier).

Today, Rangers have clawed their way back to the Scottish Championship (with Hearts and Hibs, the other two teams you’ve heard of) and sit in second place, looking to make it back into the big show and resume happy fun time with old friends Celtic.

To help with/cash in on the push, American financier and owner of the NBA’s Phoenix Suns Robert Sarver has made an 18 million pound bid for a controlling stake of the club.

“Financier” is a great title, because it sounds shady as shit. If I called myself a “financier”, people would assume I traveled with chalky white bricks in my trunk, but I digress.

This is noteworthy for two reasons: 1) Europeans hate when Americans buy their clubs. The more historic the club, the more the hate. It’s delightful. 2) Robert Sarver is slightly ridiculous. Here he is with the Suns, making a public spectacle because the San Antonio Spurs rested a bunch of their stars …for a preseason game:

“Ay everybody … be sure to include that return envelope. These Taco Bell gift cards ain’t gonna send themselves!”

Suns fans can’t stand him, and those who follow the game have painted him as an owner who can be cheap. Sounds like a great fit for a club like Rangers, whose supporters are known to be very level-headed types.

The move would be difficult, as 75 percent of current Rangers shareholders would have to agree to create enough new shares to allow Sarver to buy a 51 percent stake. He is also reportedly willing to spend an additional 15 million pounds to gain 100 percent control of the club.

Similar proposals from other groups looking to gain majority ownership have already been rejected by Rangers’ board and chairman.

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