Here’s what it looks like when a club like Besiktas offers a contract to a player like Miguel Layún

Soccer clubs, like any other businesses, draw up employment contracts between them and new hires. But that’s pretty much where the resemblance ends. The numbers are bigger. The perks, weirder.

Take a look at this deal (which we’re assuming is legit) between Turkish side Besiktas and Miguel Prado, who was the assistant district attorney played by Jimmy Smits in Dexter. He’s also better known as Miguel Layún, a Mexican defender who just joined Spanish side Grenada from Club América before being immediately loaned out to English second-tier outfit Watford. As you do.

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The offer from the Istanbul club amounted to about $1 million in salary per season, net, plus a car and $3,000 a month rent allowance – more than enough to get you a room with a view.

But here’s where things start to get a bit more soccer-specific: a 15,000 euro ($18,000) “appearance and bonus” fee per match won. Per match! And even a 7,500 euro reward for playing in a game that ends up as a tie. Congratulations, you’ve done the bare minimum: turned up for work and drawn the match. Have $9,000 on us. An ever-present on these terms in 2013-14, when the side finished third in the Turkish league, would have “earned” in excess of $400,000 in win and draw bonuses.

The average annual net household income in Turkey, since you asked? Under $14,000. Or less than two ties, as they say at Besiktas.