Michael Owen: Get your dog’s balls off our Twitter!

Michael Owen was one of the best English attackers of his generation – a player whose success took him from Anfield to Old Trafford by way of the Santiago Bernabéu. He made 89 appearances for his national team, recording 40 goals in a career that included three World Cups. By any measure, his soccer career was a wild success, one that gives him license to do a lot of “so what, I’m Michael Owen” things, if he wants.

Thankfully, Owen hasn’t really played that card that often, but as we just learned today on The Social Media, the former Liverpool great isn’t above mixing fart humor with a candid of his dog’s testicles:

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Poor Ronnie, pinned down underneath a much larger species, left with his Ronnies exposed to the rest of the world.

Unfortunately, Owen’s other dog wasn’t free from Michael’s wrath. Epic side eye or not, Owen’s next tweet gave “Not Ronnie” his/her 15 minutes:

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Retweets and favorites are their own validation but, Michael James Owen, I have some breaking news: The Twitter machine may not be for you. Either that, or it’s not for us. Get your dog’s balls off our timelines, sir.