Two players on loan to Blackpool kept it a little too real on Snapchat


Frustration with one’s employment situation is a very real thing (supposedly, I don’t know anything about that), but in this economy and social climate, you have to think “Will this get me fired” before doing anything on social media. To quote my grandfather, “Snapchat ain’t nothin’ but the Devil.” He never said that, but I feel like he would have, if he understood the internet.

Snapchat is the ultimate in technology designed to give users a false sense of security. Don’t let anyone fool you. Every foul caption, nude shot in your filthy bedroom or racially insensitive meme you’ve chatted snappily exists on someone’s hard drive, or as a screen shot on a rando’s phone. No one is safe.

Empirically, what Jacob Murphy did is hilarious. Blackpool is dead last in the Championship, nine points deep into the relegation zone. It’s a wrap for the club. On loan from Norwich City, Murphy’s facial expression screams ,”Everyone here is terrible, except me.” He’s so over this season that he doesn’t even bother to properly comb and moisturize his bro-hawk anymore. Given Blackpool is his third loan assignment of 2014, though, he might want to put the phone down.

His sidekick behind him, Donervon Daniels, is just as spectacular in his cameo, grinning freely because he’s only 21 and doesn’t know what real pain is yet. You’d think with his own history of fruitless loans from West Brom, he’d guide Murphy down a more righteous social media path, but Daniels may be a broken man already. Ten years from now, when they’re both being embarrassed by academy kids at Scunthorpe, they’ll look back on this and laugh.

As for the present, as fast as his Snapchat hit the web, Murphy was issuing an apology:

“It was totally unprofessional of me and a foolish thing to do. I have loved my time at Blackpool so far, and I’ve been really grateful for the support I’ve received. I know I have let the manager and fans down badly, but I aim to repay them by working even harder and helping the team climb up the league table. I’d also like to make clear that Donervon Daniels had no part in this and I apologize for implicating him.”

Punk move, Jacob. You’re young. Be reckless. Burn some bridges. You know you aren’t staying at Blackpool anyway. So what if the fans hate you? They’re only temporary.

Regardless, Blackpool boss Lee Clark did what he had to do and pretended to be upset about the transgression:

“I’m extremely disappointed because I expect nothing but total professionalism from my players. We will now investigate this matter internally before deciding upon an outcome.”

That’s too much feigned sentiment for one damn Snapchat. Clark probably doesn’t even know who Murphy and Daniels are. Why bother pretending to be disappointed? They can’t be any good. Blackpool is, after all, in 24th place. If he’s really offended, just cut them and go on with the rest of his lunch.

Apologies ruin everything. Thirty minutes ago, when I started writing this, I thought the soccer community had a new hero — a beacon of justice and free-wheeling internet stupidity. Turns out that even at the bottom of the Championship, with absolutely nothing at stake, players still have to pretend that they’re “bleeding that colors” or some such ridiculousness.