Houston announces Cubo Torres, “a monumental signing,” at 9:35 p.m. on Dec. 23

The Houston Dynamo made perhaps the biggest signing in franchise history. They announced it at 9:35 p.m. Eastern time on Dec. 23.

It goes like this. Erick ‘Cubo’ Torres was on loan from Chivas to Chivas USA last year. He scored 15 goals, including this one:

When Chivas USA stopped existing, all the players were scattershot into the wilderness. Pretty much the only one people cared about (sorry, Dan Kennedy) was Cubo. He’s a Mexican international who wears braces and turns 22 next month.

MLS held a clause to buy him from Chivas, but had to find a team capable of taking a designated player salary. That team is Houston. (He’ll stay in Guadalajara for six months on loan before moving to Texas.)

“This is a monumental signing,” Dynamo president Chris Canetti said.

“This is a historic moment in the history of our club,” Dynamo vice president/general manager Matt Jordan said.

“For me, he is an outstanding player who does the toughest thing in soccer with ease, and that is to score goals,” Dynamo head coach Owen Coyle said.

Cubo’s transfer fee is $7.5 million (according to the Internet), the fourth-highest in MLS history. And the Dynamo announced his signing at 9:35 p.m., two days before Christmas.

Chivas USA had a history of publishing news past your bedtime. Frequently, press releases would hit inboxes close to midnight Pacific time.

The release did not include mention of who picked up the tab on Cubo’s transfer fee.

Anyway, I saw this story last night and was going to write about it then, but I wasn’t sober, so whatever. You’re drinking eggnog and having a petty squabble with your sibling instead of reading this right now anyway.