Alexis Sánchez turns to classic Richard Marx to express his love, probably for Lukas Podolski

Lukas Podolski and Alexis Sánchez would make an adorable couple. But since we don’t want to put any pressure on the two to dethrone the soccer world’s other power couples, we’ll just assume that Sánchez is singing Richard Marx songs for some completely unromantic reason, and Podolski’s recording it for something other than his longing heart’s posterity.

That’s Marx’s “Right Here Waiting,” the bane of all casual karaokers’ existences but also a rather successful song, eventually hitting number one on Billboard’s Hot 100. According to music industry insiders, the song was released in 1989 as the second single off the album Repeat Offender. Not only was love a crime Marx was willing to commit twice, but Repeat’s first single went on to be known as “that song that’s definitely not ‘Right Here Waiting’.” This was a powerful ballad.

Lest we dismiss the idea of Sánchez teasing an unrequited love, consider some of the song’s lyrics. Better yet, consider how they’d apply Alexis and Lukas:

I took for granted, all the times
That I thought would last somehow
I hear the laughter, I taste the tears
But I can’t get near you now

Oh, can’t you see it baby
You’ve got me going crazy

Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you

This video may be a Christmas miracle.

Instagram clips can only be only so long, but in a just and loving world, Sánchez would have continued playing the rest of Repeat Offender, crooning on long after the video had stopped. “Nothin’ You Can Do About It” would be the message for Alexis’s own “Angelina” as the two tried to escape the “Real World” and “Wait For The Sunrise.” (This could really be any 1980s pop album.) Once the two were “Satisfied” from putting their “Heart On The Line,” they’d know it was “Too Late To Say Goodbye” to their “Wild Life.” Alexis would wonder “If You Don’t Want My Love,” but Poldi would insist the two of them that were “Children Of The Night.” The only person who’d doubt it? Well, “That Was Lulu.”

If you wondered why Podolski didn’t force a move this summer when it was clear he wouldn’t play at Arsenal, look no farther than the team’s marquee arrival. Wherever Alexis would go, whatever he would do, Podolski would be “right here waiting for you.”

I’m just going to say it: Alexkas.

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