Yesterday, FIFA announced that the Executive Committee had voted unanimously to publish Michael Garcia’s 430-page report detailing the findings of his investigation into the 2018 and 2022 World Cup bids. Speaking on the matter yesterday in Marrakesh, FIFA “President for Life” Sepp Blatter said:
“We have always been determined that the truth should be known. That is, after all, why we set up an independent ethics committee with an investigatory chamber that has means to undertake investigations on its own.”
It almost sounds as if he’s telling the truth.
But those weren’t the only newsworthy words to come out of Blatter’s mouth. For those wondering if the full Garcia Report could ultimately result in Qatar being stripped of the World Cup, FIFA’s fearless leader said, “It would really need an earthquake, extremely important new elements to go back on this World Cup in Qatar.”
Last year, sadly, a 7.8-measured earthquake hit Khash, Iran.
Yes, Iran is not Qatar, but tremors travel. So it’s possible that Qatar could be stripped of the World Cup, but not very likely. Also, that’s a horrible thing to wish on any region. I hope that Blatter was speaking metaphorically.
But Blatter also left the door open for “extremely important new elements” to change FIFA’s 2022 hosting decision. Assuming these new elements would be similar to a metaphorical earthquake, we decided to think of other disasters that may convince FIFA to move the 2022 World Cup. Here are a few possibilities:
1. The Kardashians move to Qatar
2. The Real Housewives of Anywhere move to Qatar
3. Other Bravo shows (or VH1 reality shows) move to Qatar
4. The Jersey Shore cast moves to Qatar
5. The Geordie Shore cast moves to Qatar
6. The Duck Dynasty cast moves to Qatar
7. A Staten Island grand jury moves to Qatar
Just missed the list: Abuse of foreign laborers.
Basically, while FIFA’s unlikely to strip Qatar of the 2022 World Cup, anything is possible.