Never let anyone tell you that Instagram isn’t worthwhile. Instagram is where life happens. It is the giant cork bulletin board in the entrance hallway of our lives. Where our parents used carrier pigeons and the Pony Express to make important announcements, we use the ‘Gram, a beautiful community of oneness, celebration and positivity.
Today’s ‘Gram news shook up the American soccer internet for a strong hour and a half. Cuffing season is upon us, and Sydney Leroux and Dom Dwyer are boo’d up. It’s (probably) an inspiring story. One of chance encounters, “lemme fly u out” DMs, and yelling at the TV because some savage didn’t get a straight red for fouling “bae.” That’s real love. We need to get these two on the cover of Jet or Ebony.
The question that must be asked: How long has this been going on without public knowledge? If the United States is going to progress and become the encompassing soccer environment that Jürgen Klinsmann demands, it is our duty as fans to stay on top of this sort of high-level gossip. The English would never have given a relationship of this stature the time to grow and develop privately. They have their priorities in order.
Neither Sydney nor Dom are shy about cameras. Therefore, there must have been clues on Instagram — clues that all of us missed. Luckily, we’re here to investigate.
Nov. 21: Sydney posted this video of herself taking a dive off a boat. The dive was as dramatic as it was luxurious, because there’s a split second where it looked like this would end in an unintentional belly-flop. You had to pause the ‘Gram and pray for her safety. Sydney is a treasure; we can’t have her getting hurt.
Three days later, Dom posted his own version. Let’s assume it was the same day and the same boat. I respect his game by waiting to share this.
Added bonus for using Trey Songz “Foreign” as the soundtrack. It’s a perfect way to throw people off his trail. No self-respecting man in a relationship would ever play “Foreign” publicly. Pay attention to the subliminal to Sydney in the lyrics, though. It’s important.
This shot is straight out of the Sydney Leroux Handy Guide to Thirst Traps. We should have known that Dom was studying under the Master. His ‘Gram game wasn’t at this level before.
It’s important for people in a relationship to be able to learn things from one another. I’m happy for them.
Look at Sydney laughing at every dude in her mentions. She doesn’t need you, fool. This is a woman happy and secure with her new flaaaaaaaame. Imagine the internet horribleness she must get on a daily basis. Maybe before, it would bring her down. Creeper comments may be why her form has slipped a bit lately. Unwanted likes do have an emotional toll. But today, ignoring is like breathing — just another day at the office. Syd is calling her girls over to laugh at
This was back in October. Maybe she wasn’t with Dom yet, but it was clear what Sydney wanted out of love. Perfect grooming. She and Dom are two of the most manicured people in sports, so its safe to say that she hit the bullseye(brow).
This picture has nothing to do with this story. I’m just a fan of art.
The biggest clue of the “Domney” romance came just five days ago. Dom made Sydney his Woman Crush Wednesday. It’s a very Millennial thing to do. He wasn’t ready for a “dass mah boo [ghost emoji]” caption yet, but the message was clear. This was probably a subtle message to his inner circle. There may have been a series of text messages from Dom to tell his boys it was real. CJ Sapong replied “GTFOH” at least eight times, and reminded him he was about that U.S. women’s team life first.
We (I) use the term “American Soccer super-couple” a bit loosely in this case, since Sydney is actually Canadian and Dom is a secret Englishman. Somehow, their children will be German. Twenty years from now, with Klinsmann on his fourth contract extension, their special Commonwealth twins will simultaneously lead the U.S. to the round of 16 in the new co-ed World Cup. It will be beautiful, and we’ll remember this day in our hearts forever. One day, we may even get off of work for it.