Augsburg was Bayern’s equal … except for those 13 second half minutes

Nobody expected Augsburg to be Bayern’s equals, but when the upstarts got to halftime scoreless during today’s visit from Germany’s Kaisers, it gave everybody permission to think Cinderella could make it to the end of the ball. Then, as predictably as a Cinderella reference in a soccer blog post, the dam broke, mixing metaphors as the coming waves sent Augsburg’s hopes crumbling over the span of 13 minutes.

First there was Medhi Benatia’s goal, redirected in off a superb delivery from Franck Ribery in the 58th minute.

Arjen Robben added the next from the top of the box shortly before Robert Lewandowski put the game out of reach. But just in case there was any doubt, Robben added his second in the 71st minute — the only Bayern goal that didn’t touch the woodwork before reaching the scoresheet.

Keeping with our goal of packing this post with as many bad metaphors as possible, the game could be seen as a snapshot of our greater Bundesliga experience. We want some team, any team to keep the league close, even if it means getting to know a team like Augsburg. But that relationship only lasts long enough for Augsburg to use its non-Bayern schedule to achieve some relevance. Then, Bayern visits, tempts hope for a half, and snaps Cinderella’s slipper in half, devouring the glass shards in front of the royal family.

Don’t act like that’s not the next trick in Manuel Neuer’s arsenal. Until then, we’re left with the nightmare of Munchen traveling to Germany’s third place team, using the first half to up the values on the Audi’s miles per gallon gauge, then hitting the gas after halftime and separating itself from the field.

If there’s a parallel to that, it’s last year’s Bundesliga. And, the year before. Augsburg wasn’t our only hope, but Wolfsburg isn’t much better. Bayern Munich continues to be a great source of fatalism.