Lovable, adorable pitch invading Spider-Man. The famous Marvel comic hero made an appearance during the mid-week Premier League game between Manchester City and Sunderland at the Stadium of Light. The date: Wednesday, December 3, 2014.
He didn’t apprehend any bad guys — although he did, unsuccessfully, try to substitute Gaël Clichy (pictured below) — but it was nevertheless a beautiful gesture from a celebrity who could have been doing other things, like searching for other types of radioactive insects. There’s no reason Spider-Man can’t morph into Spider-Man-With-Some-Mosquite-Like-Tendencies. Maybe “Spider, but with the resiliency of a Cockroach-Man.” As it turns out, superheroes really love soccer.
In the heat of the moment, it seemed as if Clichy, perhaps not unsurprisingly, was a bit freaked out by his chance encounter with Peter Parker’s alter ego. But Clichy may have been privy to additional information that sheds some light on his reaction. You see, Spider-Men (and perhaps Spider-Women) are descending on us — often at six times their normal size — and they might not have the best of intentions.
Single file, flashing some distributing if silent hand rhetoric, this haphazardly clad Spidey platoon may be coming to get us, training to invade pitches all across the globe. Take the incident at the Stadium of Light, and multiply it by all of these misguided Tyler Durdens:
We need to be careful. This is no longer funny. Our games are in danger of being overrun by masked peoples with little accountability who pretend to have superpowers. Wait a minute … these people are starting to sound kind of familiar. Sepp, where were you on Wednesday, December 3?