Call off the search: Eidur Gudjohnsen and Emile Heskey have been found

Former Icelandic international and Chelsea cult hero Eidur Gudjohnsen and former Liverpool and England not-so-much cult hero Emile Heskey are training with Bolton Wanderers, with an eye toward signing. The news raises a very important question: Huh?

Many have been looking for both on the back of old milk cartons for years now – a stressful time for fans wondering whether their heroes have been safe since disappearing from the relative safety of the English media. But now the world can relax. They’re back, dammit. Our boys are back.

For Gudjohnson, it isn’t completely shocking that he’s resurfaced at Bolton, considering that’s where he got his start in the English Premier League after leaving Iceland back in 1998. But for many, Heskey’s appearance is more baffling, as he has a habit of going missing for extended periods of time, as many who have seen him in front of goal can attest. We’re just happy that they’re both back in the land of savory pies, where they should get all of the attention and hugs they deserve. It’ll be an added bonus if they can help drag Bolton out of relegation danger.

Maybe we would know more about their whereabouts and be able to share lessons with the children if they would open themselves up a little bit more. Gudjohnsen might want to make his Instagram account public and show the world what he’s comfortable showing his measly 1.9 thousand followers.

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There are answers behind that padlock. We all know that.

And Heskey may want to get an Instagram account. These people need to stop acting like the public is full of creeps.