Bruce Grobbelaar thinks Simon Mignolet is “worse than Dracula”

Dracula sucks blood. Simon Mignolet just plain sucks.

At least that’s the expert opinion of former Liverpool goalkeeper Bruce Grobbelaar.

“I’ve likened Mignolet to worse than Dracula because at least Dracula comes out of his coffin now and then,” Grobbelaar told the BBC.

Mignolet concedes an average of 1.5 goals per game. Like Dracula, he shirks crosses.

The 57-year-old went on to say more mean things about Mignolet, most of them accurate, but none quite as funny as that line. In general he thinks Liverpool should bench Mignolet for Brad Jones right now then buy a goalkeeper in January.

You probably know Grobbelaar for his “spaghetti legs” distraction in the European Cup final penalty shootout against Roma.

You may also know him as the guy charged with match fixing by The Sun. He counter-sued and got his name cleared, eventually, but was only awarded 1 pound compensation, the lowest possible amount, because there was enough evidence to justify the initial case. (He claims he was working with police to out match fixers.) Forced to pay The Sun‘s legal costs, he was declared bankrupt. Grobbelaar’s quip: “I came to this country with 10 pounds. I ended up with 1 pound, but what a life on that nine quid…”

While the cases were going on, he played against Arsenal. Fans held out specially minted fake money with his face on it. One fan threw a wallet onto the field next to him. Grobbelaar checked inside and, finding that it was empty, tossed it back.

Oh yeah, he also won 13 trophies in 13 years at Liverpool, including six league titles.