Creepin’ on the ‘Gram is a new Soccer Gods feature where we periodically dive into the Instagram crates of various figures in the soccer world … because we have nothing better to do, and that’s actually the purpose of Instagram. Creepin’ is dedicated to the memories all the failed social media projects that came before, as well as to bringing you the best of the best of other people’s fake lives through our own unique Instagram filter. Tell your friends.
You may know Instagram as a social platform that allows you to share pictures and videos with the world. But on the sly, Instagram serves another purpose: It allows people to secretly chase their dreams of pursuing secondary careers.
Yesterday, we launched our first creep, revealing New England Revolution and U.S. midfielder Jermaine Jones’s secret desire to launch an emo R&B career. Today, we enter Schalke and Ghana midfielder/forward Kevin-Prince Boateng’s Instagram world. Prince, as you will soon learn, is discretely chasing an acting career.
Come creep with us.
1. The ability to express oneself is vital in the acting world. But expression involves more than just words. To be well-rounded, one must also show facial expression versatility. This is the headshot Prince sent in for a role in Law & Order: Berlin as the guy who dares the police to come and get him. As you’ll see over the course of this creep, Prince has mastered the “Meh, not gonna catch me, coppers, see!” look.
2. Brooding. It’s an expression one must master when angling for a role on True Detective 2. But the brilliance of this Prince headshot is that it also works for cartoon roles. If there’s an animated True Detective in the near future, Prince has a chance of breaking into the franchise. This expression also works for scenes where he’s supposed to realize that the coppers may actually catch him, and he’s supposed to express fading belligerence and regret that he may never see his loved ones again.
3. I think we’ve found Prince’s True Detective 2 partner: Schalke teammate Tranquillo Barnetta. Obviously, he’s the one with the creepstache.
Here, Prince’s shows his happy face, which contrasts beautifully with Tranquillo’s stern, “I’ve heard enough of your bullshit” face. It’s a winning combination, because we all know that True Detective partners can never simultaneously be in the same emotional state.
Prince’s happy face shows that he has more in his arsenal than his “running from cops” face. Don’t typecast Prince.
4. Prince’s American History X III headshot. American History X III takes a thematic detour from the original film. The lead in the third movie of the trilogy joins a more tolerant, sympathetic, and ethnically diverse white supremacist organization as the group’s new art director. The character’s name is Jermaine, and he puts on a play at a multipurpose center called “The Life and Times of Tupac Shakur.” Jermaine plays the lead.
5. #EndSelfies. Counterpoint: How else is one supposed to practice these expressions?
You can see how dedicated Prince is to making his secondary career a reality: hours of standing in front of mirrors, taking picture after picture of himself in different outfits, having to upload those pictures to Instagram, but only once he gets the look right, so casting agents can see his remarkable portfolio and work ethic.
This selfie was from when the Schalke player was trying to land a part as a Michael Jackson stunt double in a remake of Smooth Criminal called “Not As Smooth Criminal.” He didn’t get the part.
6. Prince’s “Not gonna get me alive, copper, see!” face is in syndication. It’s his go-to – a face he has clearly embraced.
I remember a piece of advice my first acting coach gave me: Play to your strengths. Unfortunately, I didn’t have any. But Prince does. If he sticks to his practice schedule, Prince’s “not gonna get me” face could very well become one of the trademark facial expressions of the 21st century.
It’s really crazy what you can learn from Instagram.
Hit up our Twitter to tell us who we should creep on next. We’ve got a lot of time … and these accounts aren’t going to be public forever.