Arsenal fan arrested for throwing things at Manchester United bench, should reconsider target

Arsenal woke up in eighth place this morning. This is an unpleasant condition for the proud Quadratarians — a term I just made up, meaning “club with voracious appetite for finishing in fourth place”. Their current sad state was exacerbated by yesterday’s 2-1 home loss to Manchester United, a team dealing with enough personal injury claims to call one of those shady daytime TV lawyers.

One fan had seen enough, decided to take matters into his own hands, and then throw it. Arsenal officials confirmed that a man at Emirates Stadium was arrested for throwing things at the Manchester United bench after the Kieran Gibbs own-goal in the 58th minute. Had he known what was to follow, perhaps he would have timed his trash disposal more efficiently.

“A male was arrested at the stadium for throwing an object towards the Manchester United bench after the first Manchester United goal.

“There will be full co-operation between Arsenal and the Met Police – we do not tolerate anti-social behaviour. If found guilty, individual will also be banned by club.”

This man doesn’t need jail. He needs therapy. He’s suffering from a clear case of misplaced anger and aggression. Throwing things at players from the stands is bad enough, but at least be reasonable about choosing a target. If anyone — allegedly — deserved to be pelted with with his empty cardboard nacho container and “Olivier Giroud: Haircuts through the years” commemorative cup, it was his own team.

Focus that anger. Harness all that frustration of a crap week at work, disrespectful children and that Wednesday meatloaf that was too cold, and use it help Arsenal reach greater heights. It was this man’s duty as a ticket-paying sociopath, and he dropped threw the ball trash.