Bayern Munich score four ridiculous goals against Hoffenheim, because they can

Being a goalkeeper is a difficult job on any given day. Being a goalkeeper, looking at your team’s schedule and seeing “Bayern Munich” typed in for that week is enough to justifiably consider a career change. The latest sacrifice to the German monster was Hoffenheim’s Oliver Baumann. The poor man found himself to be a mere prop in this week’s Bayern comedy. Sadly, for Baumann, his day consisted of a proverbial pie thrown in his face four times and the German champions cruising to a shutout win.

Mario Götze, angered by his exclusion from #SG25, waited only 23 minutes to show the world his value — letting future generations know that no matter what some stupid website’s list says, they can achieve great things.

Arjen Robben and Robert Lewandowski went straight playground for Bayern’s second goal. This was definitely drawn up in the dirt with a stick at practice earlier in the week.

Robben’s goal to make the score 3-0 was the cruelest to dear old Baumann. There he was, thinking he had the perfect positioning to make a great save and bring about some measure of redemption. Nope. Robben chip. Third pie to the face.

Then, just in case anyone had fallen asleep, Schweinsteiger and Rode connected to add a beautiful fourth. Why, Bayern Munich? Why? What did Hoffenheim ever do to you that you had to clown them this way? Four times. So cold. So funny. So Bayern.

The win means Bayern are where they will seemingly remain for all eternity, in first place. The ruthless leaders of the Bundesliga ride again.