Frank Lampard’s face and David Villa help reveal the new NYCFC jersey, in screenshots

New York City Football Club, affectionally known as NYCFC, is now more official. First came the team, then David Villa, then Frank Lampard, then Jeb Brovsky, Andrew Jacobson, and Josh Saunders. But now they have official clothes to wear during games. Here’s NYCFC’s home uniform. You may recognize it from such jerseys as Manchester City.


Let’s run through a few things that stood out about today’s reveal:

  • At first glance, I thought that “BACK NECK TAPE” on the graphic, above, said something about a neck beard, because it is pointing to the neck beard area.
  • We should note that, if Manchester City didn’t already have this lovely blue theme, there would be no jokes, because this kit is actually quite lovely and devoid of disappointing things.
  • You saw the badge before. What did you expect?

If you missed the reveal and want to check it out for yourself, here’s the 43-minute video:

But if you don’t want to watch it and want the quick and dirty highlights, I can help you out.

The first 17 minutes of the stream is the following shot. You’re welcome. I just saved you from staring at a video for 17 minutes, because that’s exactly what you were going to do. Don’t lie.

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And then Frank Lampard came out, virtually, of course, and introduced NYCFC’s Chief Business Officer Tim Pernetti. And just in case you couldn’t make out if Lampard was the one in the video, they zoomed into his face. Right up into it. Meet Frankie Lampard’s face.

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Pernetti then introduced an Etihad Airways advertisement, which “spoke” for a few minutes …

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… about airplanes …

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… and Manchester City …

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… and Grand Prix things …

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… and cricket …

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… and hurling, of course.

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If it wasn’t clear, Etihad Airways is NYCFC’s big dog corporate partner.

Then, they brought up kids from a very special NYC community partner, PS111. I just hope they didn’t pay these kids and jeopardize their ability to be student-athletes at an American university.

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Then came the reveal and the introduction of NYCFC’s first-ever signing, David Villa. Maybe you can see him through this guy’s phone.

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Eventually, he made it to the stage and joined his teammates.

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Then … wait for it … Alicia Keys started signing the “Empire State of Mind” hook, obviously (it was a recording, sadly), and a massive replica of the inaugural Manchester Ci … I mean NYCFC jersey dropped from the ceiling. There was a smoke machine.

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Pernetti then did a brief interview with Villa, who shockingly didn’t trash his new jersey. In fact, he called it “perfect.” And, again, to be honest, it’s far from horrible.Screen Shot 2014-11-13 at 1.57.35 PM

And then it was basically over.