Orlando City SC's new jersey isn't red or blue, so therefore is good

2015 expansion team Orlando City SC has revealed their inaugural jersey. It is neither red nor blue, and that’s all an MLS jersey needs to be good.

As expected, Orlando went with their traditional deep purple hue, a nice change up for the league. The purple lends itself to all manner of easy Prince references. If OCSC’s supporters don’t turn “Purple Rain” into their “You’ll Never Walk Alone,” I would advocate having the franchise’s expansion fee refunded and sending them back to USLPro. There are no other options. (Maybe something from Gucci Mane and Young Thug’s The Purple Album in a pinch.) They need the biggest person in their supporters’ section in a Grimace suit on a perch hitting those high notes through a megaphone. If you want to further American soccer, you’ll make this happen, Orlando. People would forget about Timber Joey in a month.

The best part of a jersey unveil is always the highfalutin marketing-speak about its details. All that weaving folklore about the city and the club’s history. The fabric pattern mimics the seats in the best coffee shop in town. The collar trim is the same color as the water in the legendary city hall koi pond. The Latin quote comes from Col. Jasper Twigginbotham, the first man shot in the Civil War battle on Main St. that’s revealed when you hold the numbers under black light. That stuff.

Orlando hit two home runs here. Faded stripes — forgive me, a jacquard engineered front to represent “a transition to a new era” — is fantastic. That’s the result of some serious time in a board room with dudes in Vans with no socks. I love it. But the best sentimental detail is the placement of Orlando’s old USL Pro logo on the inside of the jersey — right above players hearts! O…M…G, you guys, Orlando is totally the cutest.