Major League Soccer announces Los Angeles Football Club, and the team has enough owners to rival Wu-Tang

This afternoon, three days after the funeral for Los Angeles’s neglected stepchild, Chivas USA, Major League Soccer announced that the currently named Los Angeles Football Club will be its replacement, arriving in 2017.

This is not-news news, and we’ve known a replacement franchise was on the way, but the club’s name and colors were a mystery. Now, we can start ridiculing them.

Today’s press conference also introduced the world to LAFC’s new ownership group, one that has (double checks) 22 members? Looks like tens of millions of dollars isn’t as easy to come by in LA as it used to be. Recessions.

MORE: MLS can prove its worth by giving LA2 one of these names

The list of names that passed the collection plate to put the new team on lay-away is pretty impressive. It includes:

  • Henry Nguyen: Owner and Executive Chairman
  • Tom Penn: Owner and President
  • Peter Guber: Owner and Managing Partner
  • The RZA
  • Allan Shapiro
  • The GZA
  • Anthony Robbins
  • Bennett Rosenthal
  • Ol’ Dirty Bastard
  • Mia Hamm-Garciaparra
  • Inspektah Deck
  • Magic Johnson
  • Raekwon the Chef
  • Chad Hurley
  • U-God
  • Paul Schaeffer
  • Ghostface Killah
  • …and the V.I.N.C.E.N.T. … Tan:

Cardiff City v Fulham - Premier League

Photo by Scott Heavey/Getty Images

The V.I.N.C.E.N.T. … Tan!
The V.I.N.C.E.N.T. … Tan!
The V.I.N.C.E.N.T. … Tan!
The V.I.N.C.E.N.T. … Taaaaaaaaan!