Real Madrid and Barcelona were totally hot for Newcastle’s Ayoze Pérez

Ayoze Pérez, who you did not know before Sunday, was a hot target of both Real Madrid and Barcelona. This is definitely true, because Ayoze Pérez said so to the press.

Pérez joined Newcastle from Tenerife of the Spanish second division this summer. The 21-year-old made his first start for his new club this weekend. It was a memorable one, as he scored the game-winner to give Newcastle an unexpected win over Tottenham, the club’s first on the road since March 1.

After the match, Pérez spoke with media and said that he weighed Newcastle’s offer against others from the Spanish rivals, before deciding on a move to England.

“Yes, there was interest from Barcelona and Real Madrid”

“We had to consider the different options and I finally decided to come to Newcastle. I have always loved the Premier League, but the main reason to come here was how Newcastle valued myself.”

Yup. Sure. How could anyone not believe this? There’s a long history of players who have had the opportunity to play in Madrid or Barcelona and ended up and at a 10th place English team. Happens every year.

It would be fair to question Pérez’s claims, but I’ve done some research. Through various channels, I’ve found out there was an even longer and more impressive list of opportunities he passed up to sign with Newcastle and sail the smooth Premier League seas under the captaincy of Alan Pardew.

  • Was asked do co-produce Yeezus, but Rick Rubin was cheaper.
  • The only reason Sepp Blatter is seeking re-election is because he’s too busy to take the job.
  • Beyoncé considered leaving Jay Z for him, but Peréz didn’t want Blue Ivy growing up in a broken home.
  • Was going to be the first player to go by “James” with an English ‘H’ sounde, but thought Rodriguez could use the PR boost.
  • Turned down the FIFA 15 cover to attend a cousin’s bat mitzvah the day of the photo shoot.
  • Coined the phrase “tiki-taka” and could have trademarked it, but felt it belonged to the people of Spain.

Despite your cynicism, it’s clear that Ayoze Pérez is an impressive and selfless human being. Newcastle are lucky to have him. With his one goal-to-one start ratio sure to continue for years, St. James Park is set to be the site of a few trophy celebrations in the near future.