Despite what your TV listings may have told you, Roma vs. Bayern was the marquee match of the day. Two big clubs in excellent league form, both entered today’s game in with the knowledge that fellow Group E contenders Manchester City had left CSKA Moscow’s empty stadium with only a point.
This could have been a wide-open classic featuring a ball-hogging titan against a counter-attacking savant. Instead, it was over in 23 minutes, forcing us to seek contentment in an age-old theme reemerged in Rome: abusing Ashley Cole.
Arjen Robben took it upon himself to make the former Chelsea man look like the worst defender on the continent, making his right knee buckle like a balky couch leg in the eight minute with a trademark change of direction.
Twenty-two minutes later, Robben bagged his second. The now one-legged Cole drifted out of position while the Bayern sniper waited. Cole would pay for it.
Bayern Munich would go on to beat Roma 7-1, but Cole’s day was so specifically nightmarish, we should end with this very old clip of him having his soul stolen by a young Cristiano Ronaldo.