Joe Hart sounds like he’s scared for his life in CSKA’s empty stadium

“AWAY! GET UP! NOOOOOOO!” – Joe Hart screams in terror watching his team defend.

CSKA Moscow and Manchester City are playing their Champions League game today in an empty stadium, because too many of CSKA’s fans are terrible. The emptiness of Arena Khimki has added a special dimension to the broadcast: The panic of Joe Hart. Any time the ball is within 75 yards of his net, Hart screams fearful pleas to his teammates, as if giving instructions on how to diffuse a bomb from a distance.

He sounds like a super-advanced cyborg that was just given emotion simulation software, and someone turned the “oh shit” knob too hard. It’s great. The game itself has become almost secondary.

Surprising, really, he sounded oh so confident before the game.

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