Real Madrid released a statement on Monday saying that Gareth Bale has an injury in the right pyramidalis muscle. After consulting Internet, M.D., we think this means he has, in technical terms, a sore butt.
He’s now set to sit out a couple of games, presumably on padded furniture. Bale didn’t play in the 5-0 win over Levante on Saturday , and he’s reportedly going to miss the opportunity to twist Martin Skrtel’s blood at Anfield on Wednesday when Real face Liverpool in the Champions League. He also looks unlikely to be on the field for Saturday’s Clasico and the return of Luis Suarez, so at least he won’t be adding puncture wounds to his list of ailments.
Bale already has five goals this season and tormented Liverpool in a 2-1 win for Tottenham in November 2012, setting up the first goal and scoring the second via a deflected free kick. Then again, he also did this: