The last few minutes of Liverpool-QPR almost made waking up early worth it

Soccer/football is a [timeless cliché], isn’t it?

Liverpool and Queens Park Rangers just gifted the world 90+ minutes of spectacular entertainment. This game wasn’t great for beautiful, flowing play, or a managerial chess moves, or anything that was particularly good. This was about horrendous, glaring flaws — particularly for QPR — that stacked on top of each other at the worst moments possible, and left us with a magical collage of imperfect beauty.

The first two-thirds of the game can be easily summarized by saying Liverpool weren’t any good, and Mario Balotelli may need an exorcism to get his game together.

The real fun started in the 67th, when QPR defender Richard Dunne delivered an own goal with a finishing touch that would have earned him a “world class poacher” label, had someone been kind enough to pick him up and point him in the other direction.

Then — like an Old Country Buffet after all the local churches get out — all hell broke loose.

Eduardo “Jordans All On My Neck” Vargas brought hope of a point to the home fans at Loftus Road. If only they could stop time and remember how happy they were then.

Look at Harry! It’s a shame that this joy was taken from him. It had been so long since he was able to take his team out for pizza. The doctor said he needed to slow down on dairy as he got older, but he didn’t care. It was time to celebrate. Poor Harry.

Wasting no time — and making Mauricio Isla look like someone QPR grabbed out of the beer line — Philippe Coutinho put a temporary stop to the “We’re gettin’ a point!” celebrations.

But Vargas wasn’t finished! Two minutes into stoppage time, he scored again, and QPR regained the cool minty sensation that comes with a sweet, sweet home draw. Like a romantic encounter with a dream partner that doesn’t quite go according to plan, QPR could bask in the warm glow of near-satisfaction … for 3 minutes.

… and then …

Steven Caulker found himself at the end of a cross that Raheem Sterling probably didn’t intend for him. Seems like a very strange thing to spend time practicing, but you have to respect the runs and finishing ability of the QPR back line. I know their path to the Premier League has been unorthodox (thanks, Netflix), and maybe defender fist-touch finishing is some new age innovative coaching technique QRP is using, but I have to believe its application is flawed philosophically.

Whatever the intent, I’m thankful for their choices. Waking up this early was worth it.

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