If the soccer world has a Kanye West, that title would go to Cameroon international and Barcelona-supporting-cast-member-turned-West-Ham-loanee Alexandre Dimitri Song Billong.
Song, if you were somehow unaware, is a fashion icon. Earlier this year he launched his clothing line Systeme TCHAKAP, a brand that focuses on diaper-styled shorts/capri sweatpants, shirts, and hats, I believe. You could also call these things, collectively, “apparel.”
Song’s style sensibilities are overwhelming, in the best of ways. He has my undying respect for being able to somehow pull of a cutoff onesie-snuggie. I fully respect his style, but I’m also 100 percent certain that I could never pull off wearing black diaper sweat-capris with a massive lion head on my crotch. Nevertheless, though I should be crucified if I’m ever caught dead in those things, Alex Song should not be, because he is a fashion icon.
The lion diaper-capris will only run you 105.00 euros.
The brand is legit, in an LMFAO kind of way. If you need further evidence of Systeme TCHAKAP’s legitimacy, look no further than the brand’s Instagram account, where you’ll find Song’s international superstar teammates from Barcelona modeling the Systeme TCHAKAP look.
There’s the world’s greatest player, Lionel Messi, rocking the diaper Muay Thai pants.
There’s Brazilian Messi, Neymar, flanked by Drake (of course), sporting a TCHAKAP tee. (Sidenote: I’m pretty confident that Drake is doing a Saddam Hussein and has body doubles. He’s everywhere, always.)
There’s Pedro in the locker room.
There’s also some dude who looks like Shakira’s husband looking all sensual, but isn’t really Shakira’s husband.
The point: We should all be shopping at Systeme TCHAKAP. I’m serious. Kanye would approve. And if you want to buy me something for the holidays, you now know where to shop. You’re welcome.