The following is an 11 step guide to celebrating goals like a Ghanaian soccer fan, as witnessed at a viewing of Ghana vs. Germany in Accra, Ghana.
- You’re already celebrating because Ghana is playing soccer.
- Stand up, put arms in the air, as if waiting for someone to remove your shirt.
- Ball goes in. (Males: remove shirt.) Scream as if you had just won the lottery; not those stupid $1 scratchoffs, but the big one, like you never have to work again.
- Do not stop screaming.
- Run 20 yards straight ahead. Deviate path as minimally as possible while trying to avoid objects.
- Pick up something sturdy such as a stray road sign, wooden object, or traffic cone. Hold object. Continue running and screaming.
- After 10 seconds or so, put down object gently. Do not break object. Do not put it down where you found it.
- Return to general vicinity of where you were pre-goal. Embrace others. All others. Even opposing fans.
- Jump up and down repeatedly, arms raised.
- Do not put shirt back on.
- Game has resumed. Return to step 2.
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