Do it Like a Ghanaian

The following is an 11 step guide to celebrating goals like a Ghanaian soccer fan, as witnessed at a viewing of Ghana vs. Germany in Accra, Ghana.

  1. You’re already celebrating because Ghana is playing soccer.
  2. Stand up, put arms in the air, as if waiting for someone to remove your shirt.
  3. Ball goes in. (Males: remove shirt.) Scream as if you had just won the lottery; not those stupid $1 scratchoffs, but the big one, like you never have to work again.
  4. Do not stop screaming.
  5. Run 20 yards straight ahead. Deviate path as minimally as possible while trying to avoid objects.
  6. Pick up something sturdy such as a stray road sign, wooden object, or traffic cone. Hold object. Continue running and screaming.
  7. After 10 seconds or so, put down object gently. Do not break object. Do not put it down where you found it.
  8. Return to general vicinity of where you were pre-goal. Embrace others. All others. Even opposing fans.
  9. Jump up and down repeatedly, arms raised.
  10. Do not put shirt back on.
  11. Game has resumed. Return to step 2.

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