After an excruciating six months in office, Donald Trump made the beneficent decision to give our weary country the greatest gift of his presidency: a 17-day vacation from him.
A two-week reprieve from The Donald is just what this country needs to clear our minds, reconnect with loved ones, get some fresh air, and finish that book that’s been sitting untouched on the bedside table since his inauguration. It’s an opportunity to convalesce from chronic Trump fatigue, a chance to reclaim our lives and rediscover all those things we used to enjoy doing before making the mistake of following Trump on Twitter.
But our mental health staycation will only work if Trump remains quiet and practices his golf game in contemplative silence. That means he needs to stay outside with a 9-iron in his hands and away from the television remote and Twitter.
Even brief moments of quietude are welcomed by an exhausted nation.
It shouldn’t be too much to ask. After all, golfing and shirking presidential duties is what Trump does best. You could say he’s been practicing for the role of vacationing president for his entire six months in office, nearly a quarter of which has been spent on the golf course.
But quiet is a tall order for Trump. He loves to be the center of attention. He loves to say stuff, even when the grammar eludes him. He loves to lash out in all directions like a wounded animal.
Unsurprisingly, Trump’s vacation is already off to a bad start. He just had to turn on cable news Monday morning, and then grumble at the television like an angry old man.
So Donald, before this goes any further, please take my advice: Turn off the TV and go play outside. Your country is begging you.
You don’t even have to do it for us. Do it for yourself. It’s in your best interest to disappear for a bit. An extended absence would probably help your polling numbers. It certainly couldn’t hurt.
The rest of the country needs this time off, too. It’ll give Republicans a chance to grow a spine; Democrats a chance to devise a plan; Mike Pence a chance to get comfortable being alone in the White House; and Mueller’s team a chance to prepare indictments.
Donald, give vacation a chance. What you’re doing now isn’t working. The more the country sees and hears of you, the more they disapprove of your efforts. Your approval rating is already the lowest in presidential history, and you’re getting more unpopular by the day. Republicans are turning on you, your staff has more leakers than the Fenway Park men’s room during seventh-inning stretch, and even Vladimir Putin is starting to lose hope.
The only places you’re still popular are in rented gymnasiums in West Virginia and on your golf courses.
So please, be quiet and be cool. Enjoy your golf vacation. And let us do the same.