Trump really needs to listen to this advice if he’s going to win his war on the media

Donald Trump is having a hard time managing his love-hate relationship with the press.

On one hand, Trump needs the media like a child needs its parent. Or, more accurately, like the monster needed Dr. Frankenstein.

Even with the weight of the presidency on his shoulders, Trump still lives for media coverage and TV ratings. It’s the manure that keeps his roots strong and allows his head to bloom in radiant shades of orange and yellow throughout the year.

But the real news media hasn’t been as nice to Trump since he made his foolhardy career move from reality TV host to president of a major country. The honest coverage has been tough on Trump, who has an estranged relationship with the truth and expects all stories about him to be flattering.

Trump has tried to deal with the situation by limiting press access, shutting off the TV cameras in the White House, and turning up the volume on Fox to drown out the voices from the critical press. But it’s not working. Trump needs some expert help to win his war on the media.

For Trump to truly go down in history as one of the great tin-pot autocrats of the 21st century, he needs to win the war on the media. The Feed’s Banana Republic Report is here to help. We’ve gathered the following time-proven pro tips from some of the great third-world leaders who really know how to quash freedom of the press.

Follow this advice, Don, and you’ll be on your way to greatness.