Losing Your Wingwoman Is Totally Okay

Dating is easy – when you have a wingwoman. Someone who will bogart the annoying guy who walks up to you in club, drags you to a dark corner, and tries to make you straddle him…While I may need to reconsider the types of places I frequent, having that extra support in the crazy world of dating is essential. So, what happens when your wingwoman gets a boyfriend? If you’re anything like me, you’d rather go at it alone than find a new one. Brave? Yes. Scared shitless? That, too!

Recently, I went to one of Match.com’s in-person dating extravaganzas complete with the possibility of speed-dating and icebreaker games for singles only. Here’s what I learned:

Prep & Pep Talk

I woke up and immediately thought of ways to get out of said event. I met up with my former wingwoman beforehand and she gave me sound advice: Don’t be awkward. Be straightforward. And remove that purple lipstick – guys don’t like that shit.

The Main Event

If you’ve ever wondered what online dating looks like in the real world, go to one of these events alone. Gin and tonic please! I walked around the room, talked to a handful of different men and had some great conversations but there were a few trends I noticed: cell phones appeared to be more interesting than speaking to human beings, eye contact was often diverted by pretend coughs followed by intense creeper stares once you turned away, but most notably… everyone who brought friends stuck with their friends – which wasn’t an option for me. This night was purely about me and what kind of trouble I was capable of getting into all by myself.

I dared myself: go talk to the super fine dude you’ve been eyeing all night. Challenge accepted, self. Let me sum it up this way: he commented on this being his first time at a “cheaper” Match.com event and how the “quality of women” was lower. And then the mystery of why the super fine dude was still single was solved! Two hours of meaningless conversation and dodging creeps later, I made a beeline for coatcheck. Wingwoman or not, I might’ve had better luck at the corner bodega.

The Verdict

No matches were made, and so I revisit the question: Is it possible to date without a wingwoman? Absolutely! Take it from someone who may or may not have been on a few different dating sites (don’t judge) and has yet to give up. How you come up in the world of dating is on you and no one else. While I missed my wingwoman at this event – flying solo made me realize how often we tend to ignore others when we put ourselves in these dating situations and leave wondering why no one “bit.” Being your own wingwoman forces the challenge of relying on solely you and it makes for a hell of a great story the next day. This won’t be my last solo-dating event, in fact, I think I’ll try my hand at something even more poop-inducing: speed dating! Stay tuned.