Luck of the Draw: USA and Mexico Screwed in World Cup Matchups

Today was the most exciting day of the World Cup, not including the actual World Cup.

It was the “draw” – the bingo-style selection process that determines which countries will face off in Brazil next June.

The ridiculous, hour-long celebrity/beauty pageant ended with sorting the 32 teams into eight groups. And the snap analysis is that Team USA and Mexico got f***ed, big time. They’re each playing elite teams: The U.S. Men’s National Team has to take on world-class Germany, scrappy Ghana, and spotlight-loving Portugal. Meanwhile, Mexico is playing the dominating host Brazil, underrated Croatia, and one of Africa’s best teams, Cameroon.

We’d be remiss if we didn’t include the obligatory reminder that Mexico doesn’t even deserve to be in the World Cup – they’re only here because the U.S. beat Panama, knocking them down in the standings so that Mexico could surpass them. But still, the way the World Cup groups are organized as of today, it’s possible that the United States could play Mexico in the World Cup Final.

That would probably be the most exciting thing to watch since, well, the armadillo mascot danced on the stage at today’s draw.