What are we reading this morning? Take a look for yourself. Here’s a link dump to go with that cup o’ joe:
1. How do you make ends meet as a nonprofit educational intern in New York City? Stripping in Times Square, of course.
2. What happens when you give money to poor people with no strings attached? Not what you might think.
3. Get your Halloween on with this slideshow of funnysad vintage candy wrappers, like the one that advertised a nut roll as tasting like chicken dinner. What could go wrong? was just awarded $38,000 for his alleged mental suffering.
5. Retired Australian couple wins a trip to Canada, gets used as methamphetamine mules. Wait, what?
6. American dudes, you’re fatter than your European and Asian counterparts, as proven by these creepy graphics.
7. FINALLY, a reverse microwave, because this wine is too warm.
8. FDA warns against jerky treats for dogs because Chinese sweatshop workers hate dogs, obvs.
9. Are you middle-class? Then you probably already plan to work until you die. ¡Viva!
10. Ever think to yourself: “Gee, I wish I could really hold that cat GIF IRL”? Two “Brooklyn-based digital designers” (of course) are using an old technology to print working GIFs. To anyone who ever had a Sportflics baseball card collection, this isn’t news, just hipster retro freakout.
11. Silicon Valley startup bro Mahbod Moghadam used to be most famous for his acting like an a-hole, even to A-list celebrities. But now he says it wasn’t his fault: It was his brain tumor, for which he recently had surgery. Can a brain tumor really make you act like a d*ck?? (Spoiler: Maybe, but you can still be a d*ck w/o one.)